I hate wanting to write a blog and not knowing what to say. It's not that I don't have anything to talk about, it's focusing my thoughts enough to put into words what I am thinking. Ultimately, that's the goal of blogging: to organize my thoughts, but tonight I am thinking too many things at once. All of my thoughts are centered on the future.

After thinking for a while, I've decided Proverbs may best serve me now. I need something to meditate on and consider while planning and setting goals for the future. Obviously, I want God to lead me, but I also have my own selfish goals. These things don't necessarily contradict, but I want to know that I am doing what is right. It is too easy to justify selfish desires alone, but if I am constantly seeking his guidance, I know the path He has already set me on will become clear.

For tonight, I'll leave it at this, and think more about my future. More to come. :)


Proverbs 16
¹The plans of the heart belong to man,
But the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.
²All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight,
But the LORD weighs the motives.
³Commit your works to the LORD
And your plans will be established.
⁴The LORD has made everything for its own purpose,
Even the wicked for the day of evil.
⁵Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD;
Assuredly, he will not be unpunished.
⁶By lovingkindness and truth iniquity is atoned for,
And by the fear of the LORD one keeps away from evil.
⁷When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD,
He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
⁸Better is a little with righteousness
Than great income with injustice.
⁹The mind of man plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.
¹⁰A divine decision is in the lips of the king;
His mouth should not err in judgment.
¹¹A just balance and scales belong to the LORD;
All the weights of the bag are His concern.
¹²It is an abomination for kings to commit wicked acts,
For a throne is established on righteousness.
¹³Righteous lips are the delight of kings,
And he who speaks right is loved.
¹⁴The fury of a king is like messengers of death,
But a wise man will appease it.
¹⁵In the light of a king's face is life,
And his favor is like a cloud with the spring rain.
¹⁶How much better it is to get wisdom than gold!
And to get understanding is to be chosen above silver.
¹⁷The highway of the upright is to depart from evil;
He who watches his way preserves his life.
¹⁸Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before stumbling.
¹⁹It is better to be humble in spirit with the lowly
Than to divide the spoil with the proud.
²⁰He who gives attention to the word will find good,
And blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.
²¹The wise in heart will be called understanding,
And sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.
²²Understanding is a fountain of life to one who has it,
But the discipline of fools is folly.
²³The heart of the wise instructs his mouth
And adds persuasiveness to his lips.
²⁴Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
²⁵There is a way which seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.
²⁶A worker's appetite works for him,
For his hunger urges him on.
²⁷A worthless man digs up evil,
While his words are like scorching fire.
²⁸A perverse man spreads strife,
And a slanderer separates intimate friends.
²⁹A man of violence entices his neighbor
And leads him in a way that is not good.
³⁰He who winks his eyes does so to devise perverse things;
He who compresses his lips brings evil to pass.
³¹A gray head is a crown of glory;
It is found in the way of righteousness.
³²He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
³³The lot is cast into the lap,
But its every decision is from the LORD.

Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend


Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

I just found out that another of my friends from high school was found dead today.

Little Brad Sherrard. He was always like a little brother to me. I loved that kid so much. He lived just a few doors down from me, and so many memories include him.

The details are still very few, but the consensus is that he was found dead from a drug overdose.

That makes two of my high school friends that have overdosed and ended up losing their lives from it.

I can't understand it. I love that kid.

Two Totally Unrelated Updates:


1. I have a date to Lambda banquet now! I just got to know Marcus Ross this semester, and he is a pretty fun guy to be around. He went to LA along with Lindsay this past semester, so now that they're back I've gotten to know him, and I'm excited he's going to come to our somewhat schizophrenic banquet. (Swing dancing, spaghetti, and talks of a prom style picture shoot at a local church...)

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2. Sometime I forget how much secrets can hurt you. Not gossip type secrets. Real ones. The kind you keep only to yourself and try to deal with on your own.

It feels so much better to share with someone. It doesn't make it okay, but at least you're not alone.

I wish it wasn't getting under my skin so much, but I just can't stand bad sports. Every year people work very hard, some more than others, to put together a Spring Sing show that they think is pretty great. There are some that are expected to do really good, some that are expected to be mediocre, and some that no one expects much from at all. Every now and again those clubs that are stuck in the middle decide to really step it up a notch, and for Lambda this was that year for us. Our directors studied old shows to see what the judges look for. They picked a theme that they knew would be popular with any generation in the audience, and picked songs that would be easily recognizable. They wrote some great lyrics to give our show it's own special spunky princess personality. Then they watched countless dance related videos to find new and unique moves for our show.

After all that, we as a club got to work, practicing no less than 3 times a week with several lock-ins sprinkled throughout the semester. Our costumes were planned, pieces ordered and bought in the fall, and measurements taken the first day of Spring classes. We pushed ourselves physically beyond what we usually do because we may not be able to keep up with some of the guys' clubs as far as athleticism goes, but if we conditioned ourselves long enough, we could at least bring the same amount of energy.

We also spent more time than most of the clubs (Kappa aside) focusing on Unity. From day one we wanted to encourage the other clubs as much as possible. Yes, there is a trophy involved, but trophy or not we were set to visit all the clubs as often as possible to wish them the best and motivate them all along the way.

All this we did while planning weddings, working multiple jobs, taking more than an average full time load of classes, volunteering in the community, and still keeping the best GPA on campus. Yeah, I know none of these things have to do with Spring Sing, but all of it combined makes me even more proud of my girls than all the Spring Sing trophies.

Point is: everyone worked hard. And if your club didn't sweep the competition this year, and all you can talk about is how the clubs that did place didn't deserve it, then maybe you can step back and think about what really matters. My club goes years between placing, but we are consistent, and we do not rain on anyone else's parade. Personally, I am impressed with all the clubs this year. All of them. So, I'll take my 4th place trophy and stand proud. Not to rub it in anyone's face, but as a symbol of our hard work paying off.

Spring Sing is over! And not just that, but Lambda did pretty darn good this year. We won Best Costumes AND 4th Place overall! Very exciting since so many clubs really put together some amazing shows this year! Kappa ended up winning Unity, but we had our own celebration time for tying with them so it feels just as good. :) I think the most exciting thing this year was going into awards with no idea how it would end up.


Since my family came into town for the show this weekend, I got to spend time with all of them. It was nice to see them since I won't be home much this year again. Kathleen is coming back up here for a few days during Spring Break, so we can hang out a little more without as much distraction from Spring Sing performances. Not sure what we'll do yet, but I'm sure we can find something fun to do around town. I'm just glad there's only one more week of classes before then.

After a nice long nap today, I got up and finished some homework for tomorrow, so at least I am starting off the week on a good note. I'm still behind on a couple things, but nothing that I can't get caught up on very quickly now that Spring Sing isn't going on.

Next on the agenda is to catch up in all my classes, keep working at getting hired on at Best Buy, decide who to ask to Lambda banquet, and get ready for Kappa banquet! Russ asked me to go with him, and I guess I'll find out by next week if we're going for sure. He has a school project that may keep him from going, but we'll see. :)

I guess first I should focus on fixing my sleep schedule...

So, this weekend I decided to get productive. I knocked out my senior seminar paper, which now needs to be revised for my final draft. I'm pretty proud of it though! Then I built a website for our web programming class along with two CSS for it to alternate between. Once we got the meat of the site put in (the data, map, search bar, etc) it looks pretty sweet! Some other groups presented theirs today, and I'm really excited to show off what we put together. I also got a program done from last week, so that was a good weight to get off my shoulders.

This is the big week for Spring Sing, so everything we've been working towards is in overdrive this week, but it also ends with this week. That's intimidating but also a relief. We had club night tonight, and it was a lot of fun to finally see everyone else's shows and to get to show ours off. Until tonight, very few people had seen our show, so it was kind of life a big unveiling for us. We got some GREAT feedback, so as long as we can keep improving as we go, and keep our energy level high without making mistakes along the way, I think we really have a chance of doing pretty well as far as placing goes this year. I'm really excited to see how the chips fall in the end, because from tonight's performances quite a few of the underdogs are stepping up to the plate this year. I would love to see Iota or Pi take home 1st this year, but I also know that some of the big name clubs in Spring Sing may not have been giving 100% tonight, so it could be anyone's game at this point.


I also found out that the directors voted tonight on Unity, which has been my baby for Lambda this year. I'm a little nervous now to see who wins! Either way, it's been SO much fun, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat just to get to hang out with our girls and visit the other clubs. Kappa means business with Unity, and it was worth every penny, minute, and burnt finger along the way. And definitely either way, I will be cheering loudly (although maybe not loudest since I imagine Seth will cheer VERY loudly if they win) along with everyone else.

For now, I need to spend my one day off from Spring Sing wisely to catch up for these next couple of days. It's doable, and I just have to focus hard!

Good news: I accepted my internship for this summer, so I will be back out in DC early in May. Lindsay also applied for an internship with a church out there, so it would be awesome if she gets that and is up there with me!

One last worry/concern: Housing next year. I'll be here one more year before I graduate, while a lot of my friends are graduating now. So, I have to figure out where I'm living. I could live off campus, but I'll have to find other people that are planning to do that. Or I could live on campus, but that costs more, and again....I have to find roommates still. Oh well, I'll worry about that when I have a LITTLE extra time on my hands. :)

Goodnight!