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I got an offer for the Programmer position at OMRF!! I'm really excited because it's finally coming together! 4 1/2 years in college, who knows HOW many resumés sent out, and now.... the ball is officially in my court.

Now, I have some time to look over the offer and really ask questions about their benefits, etc. For now, they're offering me a part-time position to start during this semester. That's actually really nice because I can work fewer hours than I am at Best Buy right now but make more per hour so it'll balance out. I'm thinking I'll stick with Best Buy too and try to work weekends because I like working there, plus the discount is nice to have (especially if I'll have money to actually buy stuff soon), and a little extra money on the side sounds good to me. When I graduate I'll move into the full-time position with full benefits, etc.

So, that's that. I'm super excited at the possibility of working with Ryan Parker, and I'm also realizing, after talking with Mark Chan of OC Career Services, that this means a lot of stress off my shoulders with graduation approaching. Very cool. :)

So my interview went really well today. I met with a doctor in the office who talked to me more about what they do. She explained how their testing works with patients and how the office works from day to day. I was a little nervous going in because I wasn't sure what more they wanted to ask me, but in the end she asked me several of the same types of questions: strengths, weaknesses, etc. and just mostly talked to my a lot about what I've done in the past. Nothing new or scary, and I walked away with a little clearer understanding of what they do, which is great.

The only part where the interview when wrong was in the exit. I was pretty sure I was supposed to talk to more people, so I asked who I needed to talk to next. You know, you're always trying to be as nice and tactful as possible at an interview, so I thought a gentle reminder would be enough. But she seemed pretty adamant that she was the only one I needed to talk to. She even apologized for making me come all the way down just to talk to her, but of course that was unnecessary. I'll go back as many times as they want until they're ready to decide who to hire. (I should probably set SOME limit actually.) So, I thanked her for having me and let myself out. About 20 minutes later, I got back to campus just in time to actually go to my class. Just as class was starting my friend Ryan who works at the same company called me. He asked where I was and if it was possible for me to come back... Well, that wouldn't have been a problem except that I was actually in the classroom at this point and by that time the professor had come in. It was exactly 2:30 and he kind of looked at me so as to draw all the attention to me. I totally deserved it, but I was stuck! I sit at the far corner from the door, and I really was trying to get off the phone, so leaving would be more trouble than it was worth but staying wasn't a good choice either! I was quietly trying to explain to Ryan that I HAD to go... class was starting, and he was trying to relay messages between the HR lady next to him and me. In the end, he said he'd text me instructions and I hung up, gave a short apology and explanation, and the teacher laughed it off.

Ryan later let me know that HR would just call to reschedule another interview because by the time I got out of class at 3:30, those people I needed to talk to would be leaving or gone.

Also, someone ELSE'S phone rang during class and the prof blamed it on me, which was kind of funny when the guy actually took credit for it. He sits right in front of me, so the teacher assumed it was me.

So, that was the excitement for my day. :) 2nd interview half-way conquered. 3rd (or 2 1/2-nd) apparently in the works.

Thursday @ 1:30pm.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated.



In other news, I think I want to be a teacher. So.... I'm praying for guidance and peace. Those are the types of prayers I could use most right now, Sammie. :) Since I know you're reading.

Soooo... remember that interview I mentioned? :) Well, I got a call last night while I was at work from their HR department.

She left a message to call back, but of course it was Friday night before I could listen. I'll give her a call Monday morning.

BUT -- in the message she said, "I have some good news!" So...

My hopes are high at this point, and I will certainly update on Monday with the rest of this story. :D

This year for my birthday, I want water.

Please consider donating $23 for my 23rd birthday!

mycharitywater.org/amyebutler

This will be my first "real" interview for a career not just a job. :) Just saying that is so weird, but it's so exciting too. I heard about the opening from Ryan Parker at one of his shows, and after originally thinking there was no way I'd apply for it - since I don't REALLY want to stay in Oklahoma after graduation - the logic finally dawned on me that a job in Oklahoma is in fact better than no job at all.

I have sent in soooo many resumes for all kinds of jobs, and this is the first one to call me back for a true interview. A few have wanted to chat on the phone or have emailed me questions, but I'm finally having to stress over what to wear, what to say, etc.

Oh, details. The position I am interviewing for is to be a Programmer for the Arthritis & Immunology department of the Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation. I'm going at 10am, so if you read this and can say a prayer for me around that time I'd really appreciate it!

I always seem to get nervous RIGHT before things or right after, which is so much more convenient but weird when I'm thinking, "I should be nervous about this... what's wrong with me?!" So, for now, it's exciting but I don't think I can fully wrap my head around it until I am walking in the doors to meet with them.

I also have no idea if they would want me to start soon just working part-time or wait until after I graduate to start on full-time. I just started working at Best Buy again recently, and I always love working there. But of course if this Programmer position sounds like it's something I'd really want to pursue and they in turn feel like I'm the right person for the job, then I may have to cut my days with Best Buy short. It's way too soon to know what will happen with that, but I did tell my manager, Kenny, about the interview so I don't blindside him if I do end up leaving. It also feels good to have his support and approval going in this so I know no matter what I won't burn my bridge at Best Buy. :)

My mom told me about the Women of Faith conference she went to a couple weeks ago and about a couple books she picked up while she was there. One that she especially talked about with me was one on forgiveness. I'm planning to read the whole book at some point, but until then, here's an excerpt I found on a blog:

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have forgotten what happened, it doesn’t even mean you are condoning what the other party or person has done, only that, you are just letting go of toxic feelings and emotions. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to reconcile with someone who badly treated you, or live with them or even eat with them or proving that you’ve forgiven them.

This is an especially close topic to my heart, and she knows that there is one person and one event that I have had a lot of trouble forgiving and moving on. I know it's not healthy for me, but it's so hard to forgive people sometimes when you know that they were in the wrong and you will never hear the apology you need...even though it probably wouldn't change anything if you did. Forgiveness is such a HUGE deal, and in the end I have to realize that the only person I am hurting by not forgiving is myself. That person will either have to worry about that burden on themselves or they just don't even think about it anymore. I'm hurting myself as long as I hold onto this.

It's not an easy thing. And it's certainly not easy enough to just read that once and go, "Oh! I need to forgive! Done." No...it's definitely a process, but I at least need to make an effort to forgive so I don't have to go on carrying that pain.

Maybe you're wondering what event I'm talking about, and if you guessed, you'd very likely be wrong. I guess what I'm saying is, look into yourself and find that thing that you think of first when people bring up how hard it is to forgive others. Once you have that in mind, get on a path to forgive that person. For me, the hardest part was how to deal with forgiving something that I know is so wrong. But I don't have to condone what happened. I don't even have to reconcile with that person - that's my choice. What I do need to do is let go of those feelings of resentment so that I can be a more whole person.

Edit: I went back and added a few entries about notable events. Enjoy!

Okay, so sorry I haven't written in a while. Wow. I can't even think back on what all has happened to recount it all now. That's what happens with me, I get in a good writing habit for a while. Then I miss one thing I want to write about but don't have the time so I don't write anything else new thinking I'll get back to writing about that and get back on track.... Then a month goes by and I find myself explaining my absence.

Ahem, that being said, hi. I plan on doing better. I always do. :)

Not a whole lot happened really that was so exciting. More of the same... work, online classes, applying for jobs, and hanging out with Blake. It's crazy to think that the summer is already wrapping up. Wednesday will be my last day at work, and Kathleen is flying up here that night. She hasn't been up here in about 10 years - when she was 7, I guess. So, we're going to spend Thursday and Friday hanging out in DC or seeing whatever she wants to see. This Saturday we're starting the drive home. I'm fairly certain we can do it in 2 days with just one major stop in Nashville. That'll get us home Sunday night, which I'm really looking forward to.

Other than that, I'm just getting details ironed out for my class schedule and housing this fall. I'm excited that I got things moved around so I'll only be taking one class at UCO now, and I'm taking a class with Prof. Smith at OC instead. He's pretty cool, so I'm looking forward to that class for sure now.

I'm also living with Hippie Hanlon and his wife, Elsa, this fall. I really enjoy living in houses as compared to apartments, so I'm looking forward to moving into my room there too. I just need to find out what furniture they have or will have for me - if any. I have some time to get what I need, I just need to know what I need to be on the lookout for.

That's about it for now. Wrapping up another 3 months of my life to move on to the next 3-ish months. I've pretty much mastered the art of juggling how far ahead I can really worry about, but I'm so ready for graduation and having a little more consistency in my life. Of course, that is assuming that when I graduate I find a job that offers more consistency than my life has had these past 4.5 years. I quite literally have not lived in the same place for more than 4 months in 5 years. Maybe I'll get bored with it. I think it'll be a new kind of exciting to have regular activities that I do or places I go to hang out pretty often.

Anyway, I'll write some other time about my dreams of the future. For now I have enough planning and juggling to get me through August to worry about. I'll pick up that dream in September. :)

So, now it's been twice that I've gone to Glen Echo Park for their Friday night Contra Dancing! Lindsay had gone before, and she loved it so I had wanted to go at some point. Finally, Shanna invited me to go with her and some of her friends for a birthday party. I was excited to finally get to go, and now I'm just sad I didn't start going much earlier this summer. I'm pretty sure I would have gone every Friday night if only I had known...

Contra dancing is a lot like square dancing, but instead of 8 people in a square, you have lots of people all in a line. Your partner stays the same throughout the dance, but the other pairs are always changing as you finish a set and begin the next.

This place is so much fun because they are so open to new dancers! If you are new, then you wear a blue button that says "New Dancer" so the more experienced people can ask you to dance and teach you the ropes. And they sure will ask too. Every time one song ended, someone else would walk up and ask if you'd like to dance. The caller would help organize people from the stage and slowly walk through the instructions for the new dance a couple times for everyone to get the hang of it. Then the live band would crank up while the caller keeps calling moves for a few rounds. After a while you get the hang of it, and the caller fades out.

I took some pictures each time, so here are some to recap quickly:




Originally, the plan was for Kathleen and me to start driving home this Friday, but now the plan has changed so we're leaving Saturday morning - just so we can go Contra Dancing at Glen Echo Park. :)

This weekend I went up to Havre de Grace, MD to visit some family. Nana has been flying all around the US it seems recently, seeing old friends and visiting her brother. Since she was up here and not too far away, I drove up on Saturday to see her and all the family in the area I haven't seen in 10 years! It's amazing how quickly time flies by and how much changes, but we just seemed to pick up where we left off immediately.

Kathleen just graduated and is living at home with her mom; Nana's brother, Jim; and his wife, Pat. Jimmy and his wife also showed up, and we all had fun chatting and catching up that afternoon before going out for dinner where Lois and her boyfriend, Scott, met up with us. The restaurant was really nice, especially since we had a whole room to ourselves, so we didn't have to worry about bothering anyone else around us. :) Of course there were pictures being passed and stories of people not present told... 10 years is a lot of time to cover over one meal! Haha! Afterwards, we went back to the house and watched Slumdog Millionaire before crashing for the night.

The next day, some people headed off to Mass while the rest of us watched TV and talked more over breakfast. Most of the family was planning on going to a baseball game in the evening so Phil and his wife showed up too! I think seeing Phil was the biggest change because he's now married, and they have a baby on the way! That was all exciting, and it was nice to meet Erin and get to know her as several of us went out running errands.

I didn't end up going to the game so I could make it home at a decent time, but all our time together was really fun. Definitely if I end up in this area again I will have to go hang out with them again. And if I end up in Texas somewhere I'm going to convince Kathleen and Lois to come visit me!

Nana took a ton of pictures from the weekend, so it's not that I just didn't take any... there were enough cameras going off already. When I get those, I'll come back and update this with a few. :)

UPDATE:: pictures!!

Today was just one of those days that nothing seemed to want to work in my favor. It all started when I woke up and decided to check on when UCO's fall classes start. I'm taking 2 classes there, but I didn't really think to check before telling my boss that my last day working would be Weds, Aug. 12th. OC's fall semester doesn't start until Mon, Aug. 31st, so that seemed like a good break. Yeah, UCO starts 2 weeks earlier - Mon, Aug. 17th. Greaaaaat.

Since Kathleen has already made plans and bought a plane ticket to come up and drive back with me, there's no changing that now. I just have to deal with a super short break between work and classes starting. Lesson learned - check ALL schedules.

Later, I figured I'd check online to see what my schedule was exactly - class times, etc. I couldn't remember my username and password for the UCO system, so I was directed to call Tech Support since I also did not know my Student ID # or Admissions #.

Tech Support of course started by asking if I knew my Student ID # or Admissions #.
"Nope, that's why I called you..."
Right, well, next they wanted to know if I could come in for my info...
"Not possible."
So, I was told to fax in my photo ID and signature. Sweet! CAN DO.

When I called back to Tech Services, they sent me to Student Services who sent me to the Fax Office who claimed to never have received it...... Right.

Take two: faxed it again, called Student Services > sent to Admissions > put on hold while she called the fax people > who got it that time, all to have this convo:

UCO: "We can't give you information over the phone, but we can mail it to you at the address we have on file."
Me: "Is that address in Oklahoma?"
UCO: "Ma'am, I can't tell you that. It's confidential"
Me: "Well, ok... Don't tell me the address, but also don't send my info to anywhere in Oklahoma because that won't be to me. You might as well mail it and my banking info to Nigeria for all that would be worth"
UCO: "Oh. Yes. It's Oklahoma"
Me: "Sooo...."
UCO: "Can you come by campus?"

My mom ended up having my Student ID #, which I used to find my username and password. UCO's super secret username is the public email address they assign to you, which you in turn give to anyone and everyone you ever email on their system. The password? Yeah, it's your 6 digit birthday. At this point, my username is the more secret part of this combo, and if I ever used that email address it wouldn't be anymore.

The moral of that story is: UCO's system of security through obscurity is painful and pointless.

I had dinner with Blake Wednesday. I just went over to his apartment, and he cooked for us. It was really good - Costco Eggplant Parmesan and 3 minute mashed potatoes. :) Then we went on a walk around a trail near his place. It was fun watching the fireflies and making up our route as we went, trying to decide if we were allowed to build fires or not. Not right then, just for future reference, of course. Haha! Then on the way back, we came across a deer! It was pretty big too, and we weren't very far from it when we saw it. We'd been walking and talking and suddenly we stopped and watched it as it took it's time walking away into the woods. Pretty cool!

Every time I'm with Blake I learn a little bit more about him, and it's been really fun so far. As always, can't wait until next time :)

Lindsay gets credit for showing me this.

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People:
1. If you're trying to impress me, you're going about it all wrong.
2. I know it's your goal and within your reach, so why aren't you going for it?
3. Just letting it go would be much easier than this act you put on.
4. I wish I knew the right words to show you the truth.
5. You might think of me as a sister, but I don't think of you that way.
6. I'm pretty sure I can't trust you the same anymore.
7. I'm only doing this to keep the peace.
8. The times you do call almost make up for all the times you don't.
9. Stop measuring yourself in relationships and be happy being you.
10. I hope you can see how much better off you are now even though things didn't turn out as planned.

Nine Things About Me:
1. I'm way more introverted than I let on.
2. I fall too hard, too fast.
3. I stay up way too late at night.
4. There are things I've closed myself off to so much I can't cry about it when I want to.
5. Graduating doesn't scare me as much as not graduating does.
6. I truly want to live in the UK at some point in my life.
7. I honestly believe I can will myself to never have Depression.
8. Being recognized isn't nearly as important to be as making a positive impact.
9. I wish I was more organized.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1. Love God
2. Make me laugh
3. Do small things to show you care
4. Impress me with your intelligence
5. Dream of foreign adventures with me
6. Be honest, even if it hurts
7. Show kindness to everyone else around you
8. Be patient

Seven Things That Cross My Mind All The Time:
1. I miss Pac Rim
2. I love Coldplay
3. Hmm, Career... Go abroad... Career... Go abroad....
4. I should get ahead on my homework. Oh, look, I'm behind.
5. Is this really what I want to do with my life?
6. I wish I had some kind of view from my cubicle.
7. I wonder what I'd be doing now if I had...... (this part varies)

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:
1. Check my email
2. Put forth a weak effort at tidying up
3. Brush my teeth
4. Search for the best pillow arrangement
5. Try to read for a while
6. Turn out the light

Five People (or groups of people) Who Mean A Lot:
1. Mom
2. Family
3. Lindsay
4. Pac Rimmers
5. Lambda

Four Things You Love Wearing:
1. Jeans
2. Tank tops
3. No shoes
4. Sunscreen

Three Songs You Listen To Often:
1. Yellow by Coldplay
2. 22 by Lily Allen
3. Why Do You Let Me Stay Here by She & Him

Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. Live in the UK
2. Change someone's life for good

One Confession:
1. One of my biggest fears is that I'll never let myself take the risks I need to in order to really enjoy life like I want to.

Originally, Blake had talked about going into DC to see the fireworks for the 4th, but instead a coworker of his, Andrew, invited the guys he works with to a 4th of July barbecue at his house. We've both seen the DC fireworks, so we decided to go see what this party was all about. When we got there, Andrew and his wife said they were expecting anywhere from 30 to 300 people to show up! Apparently he's been putting together a 4th of July party at his house every year for the past 20+ years!! It was a big mix of people that we mostly had never met before, but everyone of all ages had a great time watching the live band, lighting firecrackers, or hanging out inside.

We started out watching the music outside, but after a while we moved inside to find Blake's roommates, Matt and Josh, who also came. They had found the one other guy they work with, so we all hung out for a while watching the Return of the Jedi with the occasional trivia and opinions about each movie. It's been a while since I'd seen any of them, so it was fun enjoying an "American classic" on our nation's birthday. At one point Blake left to talk to someone outside he knew, and a lady came in joking about the geeks outside talking about things she didn't understand. Hahaha! How cute.

Around 9 or so, the Fairfax City fireworks started up, and we had a great view of them while sitting on the lawn at Andrew's house. It was just a really fun, relaxing day overall, and I had so much fun again hanging out with Blake and joking around with Matt and Josh.

Besides Virginia's personal attack on me with it's allergens, I had a pretty nice day off today. It's almost crazy to think about how much I did today.

I got a very slow start today as my allergies were keeping me down most of the morning. They hadn't bothered me at all this summer yet, so I thought I was in the clear. Wrong. Yesterday I started sneezing a lot, and by this morning I was in allergy city. Of course I was too lazy to go get some allergy medicine, so I mostly just decided that as long as I had the day off anyway and not much that I had to accomplish, I'd just sleep it off. I also hoped that this would help my sleep schedule get back to normal, and I think it just might have worked!

Around lunch time I gave Blake a call to work out plans for the 4th. He had mentioned going into DC, but then a coworker invited everyone he works with to a big 4th of July party at his house in Fairfax. So now that's the plan. :) Neither of us was doing much so he invited me to come over if I felt up to it. I figured it was about time I did something about my allergies, so I went to the drug store for some medicine and went to hang out for a little while.

Meanwhile, Lindsay called to invite me to go to dinner in DC with her, a friend from Future Leaders, and some other friends of her friend from Liberty University. After going to Blake's I went to Lindsay's new place, and we picked up Morgan to head to the metro. We all immediately got along great telling lots of stories and taking pictures to record Morgan's adventures in buying her own metro ticket. We promised to take lots of pictures throughout the night, and we did a great job of keeping up with that. We met up with the rest of the group - Aaron, Tim, Rob, and Kendra - and went to Union Station for dinner at Uno's. As we stopped to pray before eating I realized that no matter where you are, you can always find amazing, Christian people to hang out and have fun with. After dinner we walked to the mall, planning to just walk along it from the Capital to the Washington Monument. When we got to the Capital, there was a huge crowd with a concert going on - a rehearsal for the 4th celebrations. So we hung around for a little bit to listen to Aretha Franklin and Barry Manilow before walking farther where we saw the cannons firing. We walked down past the Washington Monument to the World War 2 Memorial, and it was just beautiful to see all of those places lit up at night. Then we walked and walked and walked some more to find a metro and finally found Faragut West. I say this just to remember how far we walked. :)

All in all, today was a very long but rewarding day. Tomorrow should be fun too since I'll be spending the evening with Blake and his work friends and watching fireworks at night. I think this weekend will turn out to be one of the best out of the entire summer.

I just thought it was worth noting that it is 6:45a right now, and I have already ridden my bike and taken a shower for the day.

Anyone that knows me won't believe that statement. I almost don't.

Yesterday, 5 or 6 of us at work started a Biggest Loser competition for the month of July. So far... well, I wasn't even planning on getting up that early today, but my sleep schedule this entire week has been so weird. I was so tired yesterday at work that I came home and just crashed for a few hours. Then I got up and had dinner, finished my homework assignment for the day, and I went back to bed. I figured I'd wake up early so I planned last night that if I did that I'd ride my bike. Well, that's what happened. I guess I'll just make my lunch and get ready for my day now. This having-so-much-extra-time-in-the-morning thing is weirding me out.

Friday marked the end of one of my summer classes, so it was nice to have some time this weekend to finally relax a little bit. I had good intentions for Saturday to clean up around my room, but in the end I kind off took the day off. Sunday was fun because not only did I spend the day meeting new people and eating great food, but Lindsay is finally in town!!

Blake had told me that he was putting together a bar-b-que for some friends at his place, so Sunday afternoon I headed over there. The weather wasn't the most ideal for an outdoor get-together, but we ended up having a lot of fun. Most of the people there were people he worked with, and two girls came also who are girlfriends of some of the guys he works with. The guys all packed up the food to take out to the grill while the girls decided we were fine with waiting inside. The food was all delicious, and the company was really fun to be around. I really enjoyed getting to meet some more of the people Blake hangs out with all the time.

From Blake's house, I went over to Frontline church service at the McLean Bible Church to see Lindsay! She's doing a one-year internship with the church, and she just got into town on Saturday. Her host mom lives in Reston, which is really close to me so hopefully we'll get to spend some time together this summer before I head back to college. I loved seeing her mom and sister, Natalie, again, and it was fun meeting some of the people Natalie worked with this past year and who Lindsay will be working with as well now. It's always nonstop laughter when there are Bingies involved, and they definitely did not disappoint!

I've taken the Myers-Briggs test several times now. I take it every few months to see how consistent the results are. Or maybe to see how consistent I am. :) Either way, the results have always come back the same:

I am type ISFJ.

You can decide for yourself how accurate this is:
ISFJs are interested in maintaining order and harmony in every aspect of their lives. They are steadfast and meticulous in handling their responsibilities. Although quiet, they are people-oriented and very observant. Not only do they remember details about others, but they observe and respect others’ feelings. Friends and family are likely to describe them as thoughtful and trustworthy.

This is a continuation of my last post, so if you haven't read that... do that now.

Okay, now that you're up to speed, we'll continue.

I had a kind of rough day at work today. I was confused and frustrated and tired from being at work all day, so when I got home I put everything aside, threw on my Snow White dress and joined Bailey and Brylee for some quality princess playing time. It's always so fun to watch them, and I try very hard to keep up with them. I didn't (still don't) have much of an imagination growing up, and they just amaze me with their ability to make up stories on the fly. Sometimes that's just as much work for me to follow as my programming assignments at work in languages I don't know. Haha, anyway, after dinner I headed back up to my room to finally settle in for some homework time.

That's when I checked my phone to see if I had any missed calls or texts, not really expecting anything. But yes! A missed call! And a message.... It was Blake saying hi, hoping I had a good day at work, and was wondering if I'd like to see a movie sometime this week. :) I called back, and we decided to see Up on Wednesday after work. Awesome! I'd been wanting to see that, and of course hearing from Blake was exciting!

>>Fast forward through the work/homework routine to Wednesday evening.

We ended up meeting up near the theatre to get kabobs for dinner before the movie. Neither of us had been there before so we asked the guy at the counter what he liked. The guy next to him had a great sense of humor and told us that guy #1 liked HIM, but sadly he was not available. Haha! We got our food and talked more before heading over to the movie.

For anyone who has not seen Up, it is a great movie, and I will definitely be buying that one when it comes out. It's sad, funny, and altogether adorable. I'd say it was probably one of the best picks for a first date - or second date, I suppose. :)

The rest of this week has been absolutely chaotic in my life. Today was the last day of my Western Civ class (HOORAY!) and a test day in my APE class. The only way I could get everything done just for classes was to take today off from work. I haven't heard from Blake since the movie, but he mentioned having a bar-b-que at his apartment Sunday, so I think I'll give him a call tomorrow to see how those plans are coming together and explain my recent hermit-like activity.

Ok, so here's the post my mom wanted me to write... Honestly, I'm somewhat ashamed to be writing this and still seriously shocked at my mom's reaction when I told her about it. That being said...

This past semester, my friend Tracy and I joined an online dating site. As a joke. At 3am. Out of boredom.

*sigh* There's just no cool way to say that.

Alright, now that you think...whatever you think...I'll tell the tale of my bike riding date. Without explaining all the ins and outs of online dating, I received a message from a guy about a week ago. Now, messages are quite varied in content. For emphasis, I'll go hunt down some random ones I've gotten:

you look like a fun girl. You actually travel instead of just claiming to like to travel, you go sky diving... I'm curious, why are you interested in moving to the UK?

Hello, I'm a professional male from Reston, Va. I'm a laid back down to earth kinda guy. Was wondering whether you would like to chat and see what spurs up.

ill be really honest, i didnt even read your profile, you seemed cute enough to msg, hi there :)

For the most part, the guys are nice and I'll at least message back to say hi, but for the most part, I find myself to be pretty picky. And I don't see anything wrong with that. I'm really not in a good position to date long-term right now anyway, but it's nice to chat and get to know people all the same. With messages anyway, there is always that underlying tone that can make things awkward sometimes. I mean...obviously...we're on a dating site. So, what are we looking for? Well, dating I suppose. :) Then this past week I got a message, that was truly the sweetest I'd ever gotten. (And I told him that, Haha) Blake...we'll call him Blake...mostly because his name is Blake... wrote this:

Good luck with your cs degree, wow you've done awesome things! Keep it up.

:) How sweet. Of course it was getting close to 1am by the time I finished my homework and saw it, and I knew I couldn't stay up any later but I had to at least respond. So I thanked him for his sweet message and hoped we could talk soon.

We did. A couple times, just talking about work (both in the tech world), being out in this area (he's from California), our college experiences, and hobbies. I mentioned that I really enjoyed biking every now and then, and he told me about the W&OD Trail. In fact he was going the next day, and I should join him! :) So, of course...I did!

Let me pause here to say that when I say I enjoy biking, it's because it is a freeing experience for me to get away by myself, feel the wind on my face, and go wherever I feel like going for no other reason than because I want to.

About a half mile into our biking trip, Blake told me his biking distance record was 100 miles. Ah, sheesh.

But we had a lot of fun. :) We started in Herndon and headed west, away from DC. Along the way, we talked for about half the time which was nice for getting to know each other. In Ashburn we stopped at a place with picnic tables for bikers to chill at and took a breather then hopped back on the trail heading home. Overall, I was really impressed with myself, and only about the last...2ish miles was I really slowing down and getting worn out.

In the end, we got back to his apartment and chilled on the couch talking to his roommates drinking lots of water. It was fun, but at that point we were past being able to make good impressions on each other. Haha! When I left, I really wasn't sure how he felt, and while I hoped he'd call me back...I didn't want to get my hopes up. No matter what it was a great day, and I felt great having pushed myself to go those 15 miles. Blake is a really nice guy, and it was a fantastic way to spend a Sunday afternoon and to meet for the first time. :)

Okay, so I've been lousy at keeping this up to date, but at request of my mom (who didn't even know about my blog) I am updating this. I would break this up into separate posts, but honestly, for the past month not a whole lot has been going on. I'll explain...

Since my first week of work, things have been going good in the office. My mentor, Lidong, is really nice. She hasn't been with the program for too long either, AND her programming history is all in C++ too, so it kind of helps to have someone who understands where I'm coming from sometimes. Mostly I dig and dig and dig into a problem until I THINK I found where the issue is, try a few little things on my own...fail...then ask Lidong. Haha! Yeah, that's basically the pattern of how I work these days.

Devin is interning with DSI again this summer, so it's nice to have a familiar face and someone to chat with throughout the day. We mostly joke around with the other people in the office when we're taking a break and make fun of each other. Sometimes he gets on his high horse and tries to tell me what to do. I quickly and shamelessly knock him off that horse, and we move on. :)

I caught up with the Dannenbergs again this summer at church, and it was really nice to see them. We decided we'll have to get lunch sometime with a few of their other friends I got to know and love last summer also. Betty said Klaus kept up with my Pac Rim blog quite a bit, so it will be fun to show them my pictures and tell some stories when we get the chance.

Other than that, my online summer classes through OC have kept me busy in any free time I would have had outside of work. The other day I was realizing that I should have taken summer classes all along the way, but then I also thought about the self-discipline it takes to get through these things. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been as devoted to my classes in previous summers, but with graduation peeking around the corner...yeah, that's a motivator. But seriously, these classes are killer. It's 16 weeks of coursework all squeezed into 4 weeks. The first one, Senior Bible Seminar, wasn't so bad. In fact, it was downright easy now that I think back on it. I finished that one before I got up here to Virginia, and then I immediately started Western Civilization the same day I started work. That one was considerably more work, and I had to keep myself focused everyday to come home from work to read my 2 chapters, take my quiz, and make an entry to the discussion board. It got to be a pretty good routine, so I got through it pretty well. The only thing is 2 weeks into that class, my American Political Economy class started up. Now, one summer class is manageable. Add to that a full-time job, and it gets a little tiresome. Throw another class on top, and.... I don't like when sleep becomes the optional bit of my life.

I got an email recently from Abigail, who is really involved with Wishing Well. Her update email included:

• Working on getting 501c3 status this summer
• The Wishing Well documentary getting picked up by Ethnographic Media. These are the people who did the documentaries for Miss HIV and Invisible Children
• The possibility of going to the Sundance Film Festival with the finished documentary
• A TV special airing in early September for the National Day of Encouragement - 4 teams of youth traveling from California to NYC doing competitions representing a nonprofit org in different cities, and Wishing Well is one of those! The show will probably be shown on MTV and Nickelodeon and hosted by Jeff Foxworthy. The show's NYC finale on live television will feature the World Premiere of the Wishing Well documentary!

Now that Wishing Well is becoming much more wide spread, we are starting to look into a long-term kind of signature product. The goal is to find something that will be marketable, creative, and of course bring in money to put towards the production of more wells.

I actually came up with the idea of using a water bottle I had seen online once before, and the rest of the crew loved it! The 360 Paper Water Bottle is made of completely renewable resources unlike plastic water bottles, and from the beginning we all agree that it looks like a great fit for Wishing Well's purpose. I sent them an email this week, and we're anticipating a call back soon.

So this summer, I have rediscovered my love of bike riding, and as I looked forward to moving back up to Virginia I started looking at buying a cheap used bike for the summer. I hunted on Craigslist every now and then trying to find something inexpensive that I could sell again or give away in August, but really there wasn't much to find.

Until Sunday. That's when I found a posting that had only been up for 7 minutes, and it was advertising 7 bikes for free. Someone just looking to clean out their basement was trying to get rid of 7 bikes of various sizes and conditions for free. I emailed them immediately explaining how excited I was to have finally found a bike I could use for the summer and asking them to hold onto one adult bike for me.

Too late. They'd already gotten rid of all 7. :\ But, they said, since I was only in the area for the summer, they had 2 more bikes they were planning on keeping. They were in great shape, and if I wanted to just borrow one for the summer and return it in August I was more than welcome to do that. AWESOME!

So I went over in the bug, flipped down the seats, covered it all in plastics sheets and just barely got the bike to fit completely inside the car. They were super nice and didn't ask a lot of questions other than how I was enjoying the area, etc. I can't wait to get some real use out of this bike this summer.

It's good to know there are still people in this world who are so trusting and generous.

So, now that something has actually happened lately I figured I'd write again. I got up here all in one piece, and I'm so thankful my grandpa drove with me. Actually, he did all of the driving, which was totally awesome. For the most part we drove it straight through, but we did make a stop in Nashville, TN for the Country Music Hall of Fame. It wasn't necessarily that big of a deal for me, but it was pretty cool to see all the stuff they have in there. My grandpa likes the old country music, so he really got a kick out of it too. Definitely a fun stop, and now I can say I've been to Nashville. Haha!

I'm staying with the Jeffrey's this summer, and they are a really nice family I met at Fairfax church of Christ last summer when I was up here. They have 3 adorable kids: Bailey, Brylee, and Caleb, and I only feel bad that I can't stay home and play with them all day long. They're so sweet though, and it's cute to watch them play together or even when they try to convince me that it's ok to break the rules. I feel like a big sister sometimes having to suggest that maybe their parents know what they're talking about. :) Emille and Sam are great too, and they're always trying to find ways to make me feel more at home.


Work started on Monday, and it's been kind of weird stepping back into the same office but on a different team. The eRule team from last summer isn't there anymore because they lost their contract, but I came back to work with the DSI team this year. My first day, my boss brought up dress code, and the relaxed rules they have regarding it. Haha! I can pretty much wear nice jeans and a professional shirt any day of the week. It's like casual Friday everyday! That's definitely something I can get used to. They assigned me my first task on Tuesday, and I'm excited to complete that so I can understand the project I'm working on better and become more useful as the summer goes on.

Unfortunately, yesterday I woke up with a terrible sore throat. I emailed in sick to work, and I went to an Urgent Care clinic up the road. As I suspected, they told me I have Strep Throat so I ended up taking all of yesterday off. I intended on being well enough to go in for work today, but I woke up feeling worse today than I did yesterday so I emailed in again. Hopefully this downtime plus the weekend will give me the time I need to get back on my feet.

Okay, so it's been a while since I updated my blog. And yeah... YouTube videos don't really count as entries, so that puts me even farther behind. The semester ended. Not as great as I'd hoped for, but it is in fact over. So, that's always good. Summer classes have now started, and this first one - Senior Bible Seminar - is pretty interesting! I guess I'm on week 2 of that class, and it'll wrap up at the end of the month.

Right now I'm mainly looking forward to starting my internship in June. I'm driving up there this time, so hopefully my mom can get some time off to go with me. Grandpa might come, but there's a lot up in the air on that to see if he can or not. In either case, I'm excited to start working at Lockheed again and see what they have planned for me. I'm honestly not sure what I'm doing this summer yet, but my friend Devin is coming back for a 2nd internship too so that'll be fun. We definitely had a random bunch of people interning together last summer, but Devin was one of my favorites for sure. I'm also still really up in the air about what I want to do after graduation, so hopefully this summer I can take some time to really look at what I'm doing and what it would be like to jump straight into a career up in DC. I talked to Sarah Byrd about doing the HIM Program because she is leaving in August to spend 2 years in Germany, and she said that she did not know for sure that she was doing the HIM Program until after Thanksgiving, so I guess I have more time than I was expecting to decide after I get back next semester. I'm glad I have this summer to experience a regular 40 hour week software job again before deciding my whole future. Haha!

Not much else going on right now. I've enjoyed my downtime, and I've been trying to take advantage of it by riding a bike around the neighborhood or going swimming since I'm not sure how much time my next summer classes will take up on top of starting work. Oh! I also started reading Ender's Game again. It's just as good as I remember, and this time I also picked up a few more in the series for when I finish it. That's about all for now!

1000 Oceans - Performed by the PS22 Choir
Originally by Tori Amos

These tears I've cried
I've cried a thousand oceans
And if it seems I'm floating
In darkness
Well, I can't believe that I would keep
Keep you from flying
And I would cry
A thousand more
If that's what it takes
To sail you home
Sail you home
Sail you home

I'm aware what the rules are
But you know that I will run
You know that I will follow you
Over single prairie hill
The wind is on the field
You know that I will follow you

And if I find you
Will you still remember
Playing at the trains
Or does they slit
Lay down the blue ball
Just fade away
Over single prairie hill
The wind is in the field
You know that I will follow you
I'm aware what the rules are
But you know that I will run
You know that I will follow you

These tears I've cried
I've cried a thousand oceans
And if it seems I'm floating
In darkness
Well, I can't believe that I would keep
Keep you from flying
So, I will cry a thousand more
If that's what it takes
To sail you home
Sail you home
Sail you home
Sail
Sail you home

So, today was Lambda's annual Paint War, and as always it was amazing. Here are some pictures to describe exactly what went down:

Before: Lindsay and I went to Goodwill to buy outfits for each other. We had a $10 limit, and these are the clothes we ended up with.

Please note--
- My skirtpants. They are one article of clothing. Who... Why... Wow.
- Lindsay's top. It is handmade. I don't know who needed exactly that shirt so much that they made it themselves, but it was hideous.
- Our eye wear. In theory it would give us an advantage when paint was flying. In reality, Lindsay had no peripheral vision, and I was not only not wearing my own glasses, I was wearing someone else's prescription...

During:
1,200 paint filled water bottles
~150 people

No time to stop and think about who you're aiming at. Just get them before they get you!!

After:
The men of Alpha made an appearance. Never to be out done they followed Paint War with their annual end of the year bash. This year it was "AICOCTF". You know, Alpha-Iota Cook-out and Capture the Flag.



* Special thanks to my friend, Will. I stole most of these pictures from his Facebook, but what can I say, he's a great photographer!

Finals week is here! It's absolutely incredible how quickly that went. I really feel like this semester went faster even than Pac Rim did. Of course in the middle of it, it felt like it would never end, and now that we're at the end I want some of that time back! My mom and I have a lot of talks these days about how time has flown by so quickly and what my future plans are. Future, future, future. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE talking about the future. It's so unknown, and I like it that way. For now. Making firm plans and absolute ideas of how I want things to turn out only feels like setting myself up for disappointment. I want to leave it open for as long as possible. Consider what my life could be like depending on the decisions I make these next few months. Vastly different paths I'm looking at. It's so exciting!!

Of course I'm thinking about going on the HIM program. If I do that I'll spend the next 2 years in England, which is such a dream come true for me. But with that choice also comes the risk of not being accepted into the program. And then if I am accepted, there's a very good chance I'll face a lot of homesickness. And what if it's not what I have it built up to be in my head? Or what if it is? I'll be committing 2 years of my life to ministry, which is not an easy job. Along with cultural differences and potentially going out on my own if no one else is interested in going on the program with me. I want to be prepared for whatever comes, good or unexpected so that I can enjoy everything instead of measuring it against a standard I have imagined in my head.

Another option I have is to look for jobs here in the US. I feel that I will be in a very good position to find a job with Lockheed Martin after I graduate, and if so I will most likely end up living in the DC area. I've loved it so far, and I'm really looking forward to going again this summer. I know Lindsay and Natalie will be there, so that is a safe place where I will not be alone. That's my main fear about moving far from home. Not knowing anyone. It's not like college where you get a whole new group of friends that are all in the same position as you. Sure I can meet people at work, church, etc., but it's still a scary thought of going out into the "real world" completely alone.

One thing about working with LM that my mom and I have talked about is that they have many international branches, and transferring within the company is fairly easy if there are open positions. If I were to go with LM, there is always the opportunity to move around later, but to me that kind of means being temporary again. I'm ready to put down roots somewhere. I don't really belong in Mansfield. But I don't really belong in OKC. I'm even more temporary in DC. After graduation, I want to belong somewhere. I want to live somewhere without having to think about moving again within the immediate future. Since August of 2005 I haven't really lived in the same place for more than a few months at a time. Even from fall semester to spring each year I have never lived in the same dorm room or apartment. It's actually a little insane, but it's been okay because it's only college and nothing is too permanent here. I don't want to keep doing that forever though. I need a little more constant in my life. Even if it's just 2 years. I'll take that. :)

My other option of course is to look for an entirely different job. Instead of going with LM (or if they don't hire me) I can look for jobs wherever I want. Anywhere. I would love to do that, but I think my fear of going completely alone may win over me in that. Going to the UK to a job with a mentor missionary and a whole church family to interact with is totally way less scary to me than taking a job in.... Austin, TX. Or somewhere like that... not TOO far from home, but just far enough that I'm not with them. And I'm not with friends. And I'm not instantly connected with people. I say Austin because there are tons of IT jobs there, but I would take a job in DC before I went there I honestly believe.

So that's where I'm at. I'm so thankful for my mom, who is totally supportive of whatever I can dream up. I've done so many things that would never have been possible without the support of my family. My mom especially has voiced her support in everything I do, and I know she has stood up for me when others maybe questioned me. I just remembered something she told me the other day, and it brought tears to my eyes thinking about it now. We were talking about...the future (go figure), and our conversation went like this:

Mom: "Man the time sure flew by fast. What are you going to do next?"
Me: "Mom...we've gone over this. I'm going to the UK."
Mom: "Ha, yes... well, good luck with that."
Me: "What? Ha, that's not really the reaction I was hoping for."
Mom: "Huh? Maybe that didn't come out right. What I meant was... You've done everything else you've ever set your mind to, why not this? You can do anything you want."

She's amazing. And it wasn't even my intention to write about her, but that's how my blogs go. Sit down, write, and see what comes out. I think this was a good one for spitting out all the pros and cons of all the different paths I could take from here. More thinking. More praying.

I love that there are so many stages of life. I love children, but I think even more than that I love old people. I love watching them, and talking to them. But of course I totally enjoy the stage of life I'm at now in college. I hope I never lose that love for life at every phase. I want to enjoy now for now and not look back wishing I could go back and not push forward too much so I miss anything while I'm in this stage I'll never be able to come back to.

That being said, I found this video, and it just makes my heart so happy. Please enjoy.

In the past, I have been more active with Wishing Well, a student run organization that aims to provide clean water to rural areas of Africa by building wells. It was started at OC by Ryan Groves, after his brother started the same organization at Pepperdine the year before. Well, this school year I went on Pac Rim, and when I came back I focused more on getting involved in Lambda again to get to know our new girls and participate in Spring Sing. I recently realized how much I miss helping Wishing Well, so today I met with Justin Mauldin, an active leader this year, about ideas that they might be able to use next year.

I had fun preparing for our meeting by writing down ideas that have worked as fundraisers in the past or ways that I thought Wishing Well could get more involved in events that are already going on around campus. It was exciting to see that he was really interested in my ideas, and I hope that next semester I can do more work with them again. Most of my ideas were ways to incorporate clubs into their plans more, so hopefully I can help actually put these plans into motion next year and see the real results of my ideas. I just hope that the clubs will respond positively to the new ideas and get more active with Wishing Well again. When they first started, it was a huge deal on campus, and over time the newness has worn off. That doesn't mean that participation and excitement for Wishing Well should dwindle though. I mean, every year there are 500 new people on campus that aren't "over it" with Wishing Well. Not only with clubs but with the freshmen, on OC's campus alone there are endless possibilities and people that dream of being able to change the world.

So, I dedicate this post to Wishing Well and all the people that are involved and wanting to make big changes in the world. Here's to ideas leading to action leading to huge results.

I think right now I'm struggling with feeling stuck. A lot of my friends are graduating soon, and I'm not. I still have a couple weeks before finals also, which means I'm here in Oklahoma not really doing much until this summer when I am going back to DC. And then after I graduate I'm hoping to go to England with the HIM program, but that doesn't even leave until next summer.

One thing that I learned on Pac Rim, and I obviously need to refocus myself now to remember is that I can't keep pressing forward excited about the next thing. I need to appreciate today for what it is, and not just make the most with what I've got but live today to it's fullest. Of course too many clichés come to mind, but that's exactly what I know I need to do right now. I can't live for a month from now or for a year from now, but I'm starting to realize that there is a reason I've been given this time between now and then. I need to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing - probably self-improvement - and start doing it!

So, that's my goal for now. To live for today. To find a way to make Monday, the very best April 13th, 2009 that I possibly can. Then I'll focus on the next day. I can't forget to make short term plans and goals while also keeping my long term goals as a motivator.

Well, it's been a while, but I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Thinking in regards to studying super crazy for tests and also thinking more about the HIM program.

I keep thinking about it, and the more I do the more I want to go! It's such an awesome opportunity for me to help others, but I think it will be an equally important growing experience for myself. Do I think I'm perfect for this? No, but I can learn, and I hope that my eagerness to help in any way would be beneficial to the work there. I'm not afraid to go.

This week, I had a long talk with my sister about life lesson kind of stuff, and my mom joked that I should be a counselor. When I called to talk to my sister, I had no idea what I was going to say, but somehow I was able to connect with her and relate to what she's going through to help her. I know that when I was in my teen years, so many times that's all I wanted. I wanted someone to listen to me, relate, and give me solid advice. Not to tell me what to do, but gently push me in the right directions. I was blessed enough to have an awesome youth minister in my life to talk to about whatever was going on, and I think that if I have that ability to connect to people - especially teens - then I should try to use that in a positive way and definitely for God.

I've heard many times people say that the UK and surrounding regions are hard places to minister, but I think that's a challenge worth facing. If we avoided all the places that were hard to teach to, then we may as well all stay home and not talk to anyone. It's hard to reach your neighbor here in the US. It's hard to reach the Chinese with the government watching. It's hard to reach the Japanese with their years of traditions and cultural habits in the way. What makes it any harder to reach the British? And even if it is difficult, does that not make it worth going? No. If I go, and I am only able to get through to a handful of people in my time there, does that mean my time was wasted or that I failed? Not at all. It means that a handful of people that may never have been exposed to God's love were shown that love, and maybe they can also share that love with others.

Like I said, the more I think about it, the more I want to go. I will continue to pray about it, to be sure that my heart is in the right place and that this is truly the path for me, but already I feel like my heart has become more ready and eager to go.

Please also pray for me as I make decisions over the next few months that will affect my future. Pray that I listen and follow God's will for my life and not try to fit what I think God wants into my own desires.

First of all, if anyone reads this, you should go check out my friend Stephanie's site about her mission to Rwanda: http://mymissiontorwanda.ning.com/

Also, I went to talk to Clyde Antwine yesterday about possibly participating in the Helpers in Missions "HIM" Program. It's run through Memorial Road church of Christ, and they send college graduates out into the mission field to work under missionaries that are established in different areas of the world. I told him about my love of England and about how I had thought about all my different options as I traveled around last semester. It seemed like everywhere I went I heard about an opportunity to go for a year or two teaching English or just working as a missionary. I loved Pac Rim and every place we visited, so each time I tried to imagine myself coming back and living there for a year. Every time I just felt like that wasn't quite the right place for me. A year in China... Two years in Japan... Two in Australia... It all sounds fun, but it wasn't until I was walking through Sydney alone one day (don't tell my sponsors) ;) and I caught myself comparing my experience there with "this is what it would feel like being alone in England if I move there" that I realized... "OH! I really DO want to go to England!"

Ever since graduating high school 4 years ago when I went on vacation with my Nana for 2 weeks in Europe, I've dreamed of going back. I even told my mom when I got back from that trip that I was going to move to England when I finished college. Anytime people ask me what I want to do with my degree or what I'm going to do after college, all I can think of is England. "Not sure..." doesn't mean I have no idea, it means I want to move to England, and if I can find a way to do that, I'll take whatever job I can get.

About 2 years ago I went to talk to Kent Hartman about the HIM Program. It was still way too early to talk seriously about it, but I was interested at least. We talked for a while, and he encouraged me to come back when I was closer to graduating so we could see if I was still interested. Well... here I am, 2 years later, and yes, I'm still interested.

Clyde said that they are very picky about who goes, and I totally understand that. It's not cheap to send missionaries, and if they are going to commit that much money (MRCC pays a considerable portion) they need to know that they can trust the people they send. It also isn't easy to go. A lot of money has to be raised to go for a 2 year stay anywhere, and the UK isn't cheap. But Clyde said they do have a standing invitation from some missionaries in Nottingham for HIM workers. Each fall is when they start preparing people to go, so I have some time to consider the program, pray about it, and decide if I want to commit to my participation.

It's an exciting opportunity, and this time it's one that I could see myself fitting into. I want to go out into the world, and it is my hope that God will lead me - mind, heart, feet, everything.

I hate wanting to write a blog and not knowing what to say. It's not that I don't have anything to talk about, it's focusing my thoughts enough to put into words what I am thinking. Ultimately, that's the goal of blogging: to organize my thoughts, but tonight I am thinking too many things at once. All of my thoughts are centered on the future.

After thinking for a while, I've decided Proverbs may best serve me now. I need something to meditate on and consider while planning and setting goals for the future. Obviously, I want God to lead me, but I also have my own selfish goals. These things don't necessarily contradict, but I want to know that I am doing what is right. It is too easy to justify selfish desires alone, but if I am constantly seeking his guidance, I know the path He has already set me on will become clear.

For tonight, I'll leave it at this, and think more about my future. More to come. :)


Proverbs 16
¹The plans of the heart belong to man,
But the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.
²All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight,
But the LORD weighs the motives.
³Commit your works to the LORD
And your plans will be established.
⁴The LORD has made everything for its own purpose,
Even the wicked for the day of evil.
⁵Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD;
Assuredly, he will not be unpunished.
⁶By lovingkindness and truth iniquity is atoned for,
And by the fear of the LORD one keeps away from evil.
⁷When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD,
He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
⁸Better is a little with righteousness
Than great income with injustice.
⁹The mind of man plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.
¹⁰A divine decision is in the lips of the king;
His mouth should not err in judgment.
¹¹A just balance and scales belong to the LORD;
All the weights of the bag are His concern.
¹²It is an abomination for kings to commit wicked acts,
For a throne is established on righteousness.
¹³Righteous lips are the delight of kings,
And he who speaks right is loved.
¹⁴The fury of a king is like messengers of death,
But a wise man will appease it.
¹⁵In the light of a king's face is life,
And his favor is like a cloud with the spring rain.
¹⁶How much better it is to get wisdom than gold!
And to get understanding is to be chosen above silver.
¹⁷The highway of the upright is to depart from evil;
He who watches his way preserves his life.
¹⁸Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before stumbling.
¹⁹It is better to be humble in spirit with the lowly
Than to divide the spoil with the proud.
²⁰He who gives attention to the word will find good,
And blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.
²¹The wise in heart will be called understanding,
And sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.
²²Understanding is a fountain of life to one who has it,
But the discipline of fools is folly.
²³The heart of the wise instructs his mouth
And adds persuasiveness to his lips.
²⁴Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
²⁵There is a way which seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.
²⁶A worker's appetite works for him,
For his hunger urges him on.
²⁷A worthless man digs up evil,
While his words are like scorching fire.
²⁸A perverse man spreads strife,
And a slanderer separates intimate friends.
²⁹A man of violence entices his neighbor
And leads him in a way that is not good.
³⁰He who winks his eyes does so to devise perverse things;
He who compresses his lips brings evil to pass.
³¹A gray head is a crown of glory;
It is found in the way of righteousness.
³²He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
³³The lot is cast into the lap,
But its every decision is from the LORD.